Do darker tests mean I am more pregnant?

I kid, I kid.

 But instead of posting more pictures of the 7 or so other tests that I took, I'll just be statisfied in the fact that they all got darker, except the digital that cut to the chase and said "Pregnant." I have a prescription from my regular doctor that says I am indeed pregnant, with an estimated due date of 2/14/2010.

They think a Valentine’s Day baby. Fertility Friend says 2/17/2010. Either way a February baby is on the way. I am officially a “Love Bump” according to the February girls on The Bump.

I’ll take it. I am pregnant. That is more than enough for me.

We have only told 4 people. We are waiting a few more weeks to let the cat out of the bag. I have read the stories of early miscarriages, of late miscarriages, of women who were so excited to share the news, only to turn around 3 days later and share the heartache.

I know there is no way of knowing whether I am going to be one of those women, or one of the ones with a completely “normal” pregnancy.  I just really don’t want to take the risk.

We have our first appointment scheduled with a midwife. We have decided to go to Bar Harbor to give birth. It is the closest family centered hospital, with the lowest c-section rate. The appointment is July 15^th; I will be approximately 9 weeks along.

It is very possible that we will have already shared the news by that point. We are too excited to keep it to ourselves much longer.

And now, for pointless information:

How far along? 4 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: down 3 pounds
Maternity Clothes? God, I hope not for a while.
Stretch marks?  No
Sleep:  Just starting to want more. I am tired all the time and actually took a nap yesterday.
Best moment this week: Having the Doctor tell me I am pregnant.
Movement: None yet, at least night from my uterus.
Food cravings:  No cravings, but an aversion to yogurt is in the works.
Gender:  Chinese Gender Chart says Girl.
Labor Signs:  None
Belly Button in or out?  In
What I miss:  Nothing yet.
What I am looking forward to:  My first appointment, telling people we are pregnant, and staying pregnant.
Weekly Wisdom:  Relax and Enjoy it.
Milestones:  A BFP!

A weekly not-so-wisdom was my Grandmother telling me that I should wait until after I am married to get pregnant because we should enjoy being married before we have a baby. She told me that my brother did it the right way because he was married for a few months before he got his new wife pregnant.  My comeback was “Even if I am pregnant now we will be married for a few months before I give birth” Of course she didn’t know I am pregnant now, and I am sure (or at least hope) that she will feel bad when I  tell her.

Proceeding with Caution

And so it begins. The watching and waiting of early pregnancy. Watching for all of the horrible things that can indicate a miscarriage, waiting for more signs of pregnancy, the time to tell other people, the first appointment, and all of the fun things that go along with being pregnant. 

Finally.

Finally done going to Machias every week.

Finally at home full time.

Finally have a part time job.

Finally can start to focus on creating a family.

…

And yet I still have to finish planning my wedding.

And finish my bathroom.

Apparently things have just begun.

The sun will shine again.

We decided that we wanted to try to conceive this past month, as soon as a stopped taking my birth control pills. The cycle was a bust, but I decided this afternoon that I really am okay with it. I would have ecstatic to be pregnant so soon, but I know that I will get pregnant when I am supposed to be. We will be moving on to a 2010 baby, which will be fun. It will be hard to forget how old our child is, and it will give us a little more time to get ready.

Ben is excited to be a daddy soon, he has been asking questions, and has expressed interest in reading books about pregnancy. He has even bought a few things for the baby all on his own. I think he finally has realized that you can’t put off having children forever, and is finally okay with the fact that there is never a time when you are 100% ready to have a child, there will almost always be things that make you worry.

I am doing everything that I can to prepare for pregnancy, childbirth and raising a child. I have almost completely stopped drinking soda. I drink between 6 and 10 servings of water a day, and am eating fairly healthy. I am researching a lot of things that I have had concerns about, and learning a lot of new things.

Today is CD1 of cycle 2, and I am confident that things will happen when they are meant to happen.

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In other news, my wedding dress has been ordered, my reception venue booked, my ceremony site booked, the wedding rings ordered, dj booked, photographer mostly booked, food taken care of, and the invitations ready to be printed.

I still need to get center pieces, print, assemble, and address the invites, get shoes for the bridal party, finalize things with the photographer, get accessories, grooms suit, cake, cake topper, flowers, etc. 

One Crisis at a Time, thanks.

I don't know how this is going to go. I've lived "on my own" for almost 2 years. I lived with my Aunt for a year before that.

Now my dad is going to be moving in. It's the best thing for all parties, but it is still going to be a change. 

We just got done talking about how the house isn't big enough for the two of us and three cats, so now we are going to add another adult, and another cat. Then hopefully a baby next year. 

Granted, we started talking about the baby thing before we found out my dad is moving in. Yes, we could wait, but the Inseminator isn't getting any younger (he is 30, has a heart condition that means surgery in 10 years). 

The bright side is, we can put a bedroom in the attic. My father will have his own space. And we will have a nursery. 

But, we will have to buy or build a house in the next 3-ish years. 

Guess life can get in the way of all plans, but luckily we have wiggle room.

Not Me! Second Edition

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week I did not:

Do absolutely nothing on Monday. That was someone else. I was the one folding laundry and cleaning her house. You must have looked into someone else’s windows. I would never consider days like that “vacations” in preparation for getting pregnant and having a child, which is seemingly imminent.

I also did not have a three year old vomit all over my house. She was very controlled and hit the bucket every time. I did not see this as “the ultimate test” for having children. I didn’t think I passed with flying colors.

I did not go wedding dress shopping just for the fun of it and find “THE DRESS.” It was not the cheapest dress I had tried on.  I am not that frugal. (See previous post)

I did not take a vacation from home starting today. I am not sitting in my college dorm room. I definitely have classes all week, there is no way I would be sitting in my dorm room on a Monday and not have a single class until Thursday night. That would be crazy! Wow, I am glad that isn’t me.

 

Worrying gets me..

Okay, so now that Ben (the fiancé) has given a definite YES! to try for a baby this fall, I am scared.

I am worried because I don’t want to have to have a J-O-B (40 hour a week job) anytime during my pregnancy or the baby’s first year. I figured out our finances and our monthly bills take half of our monthly income. I don’t think this is a horrible amount, especially when there will be a huge expense saved (my travelling 180 miles every week to and from school, plus all the frivolous spending I do when I am there ‘forgetting that I am a housewife as well as a college student’)

I think in the end it will all average out and we will be fine, but the worry is there, and I suppose that I would be more worried if I didn’t think of these things at all.

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I am so excited that I will be a full time housewife starting in May, it is crazy.